Marriage

   I really feel like I am getting old because it seems like everyone around me is getting married lately.
Just found out a friend of mine just got married and got me to thinking really fast about marriage.   I am on the fence about this issue, on one end I feel marriage is a wonderful thing, but on the only end I think it is such an overrated concept.  I just ask a lot of questions, like why do you get married, when do you know it's the right time to get married, and most importantly is this person the right person to marry.

   Let's take the first question why do you get married?  Honestly, I really don't know the reason why.  I have asked a few people that our married, some answers were good but most of them didn't make a lot of sense to me.  One person I asked said "It was Time"...WHAT?  It was time?  I asked "what does that mean" and he told me nothing that I dare to repeat because it will make me look bad for having a person in my circle that says such stupid things. I will say he said kids and it being cheaper was part of his decision... again WHAT!!!   So I asked a married female why and her answer was "because he is not going to continue getting all of me for nothing, and I know I will not be alone"...Maybe I shouldn't have wrote her response either.  I really couldn't believe people had these thoughts when it came to people they "love".  I did get one answer I liked and because of this answer I know his marriage will last.  My good friend said he got married because his wife was everything he was chasing out there in the streets, and wanted to make it known to God and everyone he had found what he was looking for.  This was such a good answer to me because that is all we are really doing by dating is looking for someone that fills desires in our mind, so when you find a person that fills them get out the game.   I just think that marriage is serious, it shouldn't be played with, but so many play with marriage.  Thats why you see so many people getting married again and again because they didn't know what they wanted or doing when it comes to marriage.   If you are going to do it you need  to know what you are getting into because for me it's going to be forever.  I am one and done when it comes to walking down the aisle; I will have a good reason for doing it as well, not just because I have been dating a woman for awhile and she wants me to buy the cow and stop getting milk for free.
  
     When is the right time to get married?  I have no answer for this one; I know people that has gotten married after years of dating and some that were married after a few months so there is no real time table.  I just think that people that get married need to know if they want a marriage or just a wedding.  They need to understand that once all the excitement of the wedding, honeymoon, the dress, and all the free booze I can drink is over there is work to be done. They have to be with this person 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  In whatever amount of time you invest in a person before marriage you need to know for sure that you can deal with everything they bring to the marriage.  Accept their flaws as well as their good qualities, know that you are willing to struggling and die for this person. 

    How do you know if this person is the right person?  I think the right person to marry is the person that you are attracted to in everyway, this person challenges you to be the best person you can be and pushes you to be that person.  The right person will support the other in everything they try to accomplish, be their backbones when they need one, and be that shoulder then might need to lean on.  I really believe that you need to go through somethings with a person before even thinking about marrying them.  It's so easy to be in love and all kiss face when things are going well.  I need to know the person I am going to spend my life with is not going to jump of the ship when the waters get rough.  A lot of people say I know my man or woman because we have know each other for years, but that doesn't mean you know them in a relationship setting.  Then they get married and after awhile they don't want to be married to their spouse because they think they have changed all of a sudden.   No boo boo the fool that person has always been that way but their actions was ignored because you was so "in love".  So my advice is spend that quality time and know that person inside and out but if you shotgun it, you just need to just be open to what may come your way and embrace the information you find out on the fly.

   Maybe one day I will get married, I really don't know, I just get a kick out of all the people that get married for reason like "shit I am 30" or "I don't want to be alone".  To you people I say good luck with that because through my eyes divorce court is right around the corner.  Damn that sounded so much like judgement, probably was but I just get tired of people making a mockery of marriage.  I really think there is nothing more beautiful then a couple that has been married for 25, or 30 years and still loving each other.  My high school coaches parents are about to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary in a few weeks, but on the other hand I know people that are divorcing after three years, why is that because my coaches parents knew the meaning of marriage.  People my age are just getting married for the hell of it, and the real sad part is the people getting married probably know its going to be a flop but just go ahead on with it.  So to all the marriage couples make it last, work at it, and hold on to what made you fall in love.  To all the people wanting to get married figure out the real reason you want to get married.

____Miles